10 NovCrow and a Nuthatch

Thinking about it some more… Besides being worried that I would be seen as unprofessional for showing anything beyond exacting professional standards and thoughts, I think I have been worried that I don’t have anything interesting to say.  Which may be true.  But I read everyone else’s blogs and it seems like that concern doesn’t really stop a bunch of people.  I’m a whole person — do I want to work somewhere that the only image that is acceptable is the straight and narrow only professional facet of the person is acceptable?  Naaaaaahhhhh…. not really.  I don’t think that’s an excuse to act unprofessionally, but I don’t think it’s healthy either to close off all other facets of existence either, as if one lived in a void.

So I don’t know. Maybe I’ll start blogging again.  And some stuff might go in my DayOne and kept for myself. And some stuff might not.  And it’ll be ok.  Because Reasons.  And that’s good enough.

In other news, this week I’m doing a five minute meditation in the morning after I wake up, outside.  There were no hummingbirds.  I looked down at the ground as I breathed.  There were some mushrooms — finally.  It’s been a sparse year for them, I think it’s been so dry… but now they’ve moistened up enough to fruit.  I got some good pictures of them.  While I was looking at them, I noticed a crow.  It landed in a tree in my neighbor’s yard.  As I watched it, it seemed to be watching me.  It hopped up a branch, and sidled a little closer then paused and watched me watching it.  It hopped across to another branch, and a little closer and paused, watching me watch it.  This happened a few more times.  Still all in my neighbor’s yard, while I was on my deck.  I said ‘have a good day!’ to it when I went inside.  It watched me go inside.

As I was walking out to the car to my doctor’s appointment at noon, I disturbed a little nuthatch at the bird feeder.  It chittered at me then sort of dive bombed above me and away to a safe branch from which to scold a little more.  The nuthatches and chickadees are ridiculous little characters.

I was doing yoga twice a day for a while.  I need to get back to that.  It’s good for me.  I need to challenge myself a little more in the morning practice than I had been.  It’s nice to relax into something familiar and soothing in the evening though.  I think it’s harder to settle into movement this time of year when it’s colder in this room.  Not so bad once I get moving, but initially the cold makes it so I’d rather curl up under a blanket.

My boss’s boss has encouraged me to do things that scare me, or, I think he used the word “terrify”.  Very Eleanor Roosevelt of him.  I have been wanting to tell the story of Ganesha’s birth as my re-entry into story telling, and maybe doing some storytelling on… youtube? vimeo? periscope? I’m uncertain what the benefits of periscope are. I have at least one friend using it. I should ask her.  I will never be ready to tell a story so I may as well dive head in.  I love stories and once I get the stories worked out, I like telling them.  And I think it will be good for me and the word anxiety stuff.  So… I will get there… maybe one story a week. Somewhere. (There. I did the one that I promised to do first.  Ganesha’s Birth.  Now — what comes next?)

I’ve had all the words lately. I don’t know why.  Maybe I’ve bottled things up too long? Maybe I just need to process the insides of my head out where I can see them?  I don’t know why I’m sharing this here since no one reads here, but here it is anyway.

So there.

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