08 NovIt’s Quiet, This Corner of the Internet

My boss’s boss exhorted me to do things that scare me.  In the name of stretch goals and whatnot.   “Do what really terrifies you, and do a lot of it.  Whether that’s public speaking or… whatever.”

It has been a long time since I’ve put anything up here consistently.  I have other places where I do some writing, maybe some day I will feel comfortable integrating those places with here, but not yet.  The past… six or so years, I’ve been really wary of sharing much online.  In some ways I know why that is, and in others, not so much.  I write, sometimes, to process the thoughts in my head. To sort out what I believe from what I’m actually just entertaining, what’s passing through.  Writing forces me to define my words, to be clear, to disambiguate.  Does that make sense?  No, does it make sense now?  If someone were to stumble into my writing, would they understand what I’m saying or is it conceptually on grounds only a fool might traverse?

I think now I also have: a paper journal or two (one of diagrams for therapy, one for long form rambly processing), an electronic journal (DayOne), that I use for all sorts of things, I have a blogger blog again to allow for the safety of exploring some things I don’t necessarily want to have up front and center here (even though no one visits here), and I have this, and ostensibly the front page blog that I’ve started and let slide.  It’s actually a lot of places to keep track of things — what is the intent of each?  Why do I pick one rather than the other?  What is this to morph into?  Questions I don’t presently have an answer for.

The hummingbird came back last week as i was sweeping off the deck. It chittered at me for being so bold, and then went to drinking the sugar water like I wasn’t standing there.  Now there is no one at the feeder.  The rain is pouring down, I’m sitting in a dark room, only the light from the sky outside filtering in.  I love the sound of rain on the roof.


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