Listening to Leonard Cohen. Watching TimTheCat watch the chickadees & finches at the bird feeder… Trying just to breathe. Just one thing at a time. It feels like there’s too much to do, too much blowing up around me, & all I can do at this point is watch it go and hold on best I can. I wish I could take various solo projects & just work on them — no lack of work that could be done right now, but it wouldn’t last & besides there’s that whole paying the bills, feeding the family thing. These details… Mostly I want to sleep. One thing at a time. And every time I say ‘just one thing,’ I hear Al Jorgenson screaming in my head, “JUST ONE FIX ONE FIX ONE FIX.”
The little girls have been writing letters to the fairies lately. M1, ever inquisitive… & considering how little 19th century/early 20th century reading she’s done, she sounds funnily formal & Edwardian. “Dearest fairy friends… xoxo, lovely fairies, M1.” And M2, who is sounding words out, learning to write, and not always realizing that you can’t just write words any which way to get them on the paper…
I wishd at
I was a
yraf
2.”
[*adorable* picture of a little fairy-person.]
Each girl has a fairy they correspond with. The first night they wrote, M1 hid the letters outside in one of the rosemary bushes & in the lavender. The first night, “Rosemary” & “Bee” wrote back & said, “We hide inside at night because the cold makes our wings ache!” and left their response perched precariously in the little lemon bush. I am, of course, collecting as many of the correspondences as I can find when they’ve been read & set aside. They’ve also built fairy houses outside. It’s oddly sweet.
I’ve been very good since we joined the Y. Aside from the week that I was miserably sick, I’ve made my goal of exercising 4 times each week. I’m pleased by this. This is good. I’m probably not stretching enough. I’ll get there.
M2 just sounded out my shirt. “So what does this say? Goooo-gooooool Mooooorrrbelllloooooow. Gogol morbellow.” Gogol Bordello. “Oh. Gogol morbellow.” < runs off > Gonna have to start watching out for both of them reading email/etc over my shoulder pretty soon & not just M1.
