Speaking of Things Children Do That I’m Certain Never Happened When I Was A Child…

Last night right before I put her to bed, M2 & I had the talk that every parent dreads. No, not that talk, the talk about not sticking things up one’s nose. She stuck a very small button up her nose.

And it got stuck there.

On the upside, she showed it to me *after* it had come back out. This is how that particular conversation played out…

M2: M1 stuck this in my nose.
Me: What? (taking said button from her & putting it out of her reach)
M2: M1 put this in my nose. It stuck there, but I blowed it out. (here she demonstrates her blowing technique)
Me: (realization dawning). M2 — we don’t put things up our nose.
M2: M1 did it!
Me: No, you did it. Regardless, we don’t put things in our noses. (looking at her nose & seeing a little blood). Now we need a kleenex, your nose is bleeding.
M2: Why is my nose bleeding?
Me: Because you put something in your nose that doesn’t belong there & the inside of your nose is very fragile & bleeds easily. You scratched the inside of your nose with the button & now it’s bleeding.
M2: M1 did it!
Me: Whatever. No more putting things in your nose.

This would have *never* happened when I was a child. I knew better. And I was too busy wiping boogers on the church wall & pew in full view of the parish’s most uptight, neatnik, childless couple. Go me!